Hey there…remember me? I’m the lady that bid you farewell 2 months ago. Interesting and unexpected things can happen when you close a door but leave it slightly cracked open. The most interesting of all happened to me this very morning. I want to give you the Details of this story and let you weigh in.
First, since it’s been a minute since we’ve talked let’s catch up. I quit all my outside of the house jobs in 30 minutes. That’s right…in a half hour I undid all that I had been doing for this career (save for taking a leave of absence from one of them). It was in some ways (in all honesty) freeing to do this. I was having some health issues (a story for another time perhaps), I felt less present with my kids than I ever wanted to and I was overwhelmed with the thought that this path I was on showed no signs of changing. I did what any mother who has the capability to do would, I prioritized and removed what I could.
Then I set out to travel for the holidays to Europe and enjoy. We did!! We spent so much time enjoying family togetherness and having adventures. No stress in sight!! Once the dust settled after coming home I swung into a different routine. I began changing my lifestyle. I’ve been reading a lot of books, exercising, eating better and taking care of myself in general both mentally and physically. I think I’ve been a more present wife and mother and I know I’ve been a certainly less stressed one.
I never mentioned to kids I’d quit and waited for them to mention it. They never did!!! They never mentioned not seeing me on the computer or working. They never mentioned that I seemed a lighter version of myself. It never occurred to them I would give it up so they didn’t ask. So finally at breakfast this morning I asked, “Has mom seemed different to you?”. No said my sweet sleepy son, you’re still awesome. (Bless you kid). Did you know I quit writing I asked….No, we didn’t they replied. Why????
I explained my reasoning, being your mom is a big, important job and maybe that’s the only job I should have right now. Being a mom makes me my happiest I told them, it’s what I always wanted to be even when I was a little girl. But don’t you want to follow your dream? This question from my daughter. Being a good mom to you both, taking care of myself, being a good friend and being a great wife is my dream I said. But mom you always tell us we can have a lot of dreams….gulp that’s true I do!!!
Then I got an expected pep talk from my tween.
“Mom you are a great writer. You have a talent and I hope before you really stop you think about it. When you came to our school and taught our classes about your job we were so proud of you. We are proud of you all the time. Our friends couldn’t believe how cool our mom’s job was. We each had classmates tell us they want to do what you do someday. You talk to people, maybe they need you do that. I hope to write too when I grow up, I want to write with you. Think about the people who might need your stories and don’t know it.”
Stunned…I was stunned. My little chewed her cereal and gave her two cents. “Mommy, you could never be a bad mommy. You have a talent for that too. Beyonce says “We have to teach our girls that they can reach as high as possible”. (We’ve been writing a report on her for a school project which suits my girl like you can’t know). If her teacher is reading this…she deserves an A 😂.
So here I am at a crossroads mulling over this early morning conversation. They want me to work which shocks me. I know I could come back on different terms. Terms that stress me less (less work, less hours). I can after all write my own story!! I know I have more to write about, I know there were countless things I did enjoy about it. I know I want to show the next generation you can…whether it be my two beauties or a classroom full of kids. My daughter gets her inner Beyonce honest…she comes from a long line of determined women with a few diva-ish tendencies..owning that fact thank you very much.
So here’s the deal…I want your thoughts moms. I find it incredible that when I announced there would be no more blog two months ago I lost not a single reader. Not one. It was as if you knew, as good friends do, that I might need another one of our conversations.
What do you working moms think?
What do you stay at home moms think?
How do you find your work/life balance? Is it possible?
Another question…an I need utter honesty on this one. Should I continue blogging or go back to work if I do in other ways if I do? I think if I come back I’ll want to stay with my writing for other publications. Truth..I haven’t always had the widest audience here on the blog versus other places. If I’m going to weigh it all out I kinda need your two cents too. Here’s your chance to voice your thought and I am definitely listening!!
I have no regrets the last two months..not one!! I’m better for this time. I’m changed because of it. I cannot go back to the previous pace. It’s not right for me. I need the time for family and self now, I have to have it. I do however still still wonder what else I have professionally to contribute. I wonder if I have value to add to the world of writing, it brought me happiness too in its own way. I wonder about the challenges that could possible be out there. I wonder if I haven’t found the best way to be too. I know that being a mom is certainly enough, it is my greatest joy. I wonder a lot of things right now!
There’s another fork in the road of this journey thanks in part to two clever kids I’m proud I’m raising. If we are doing a good job we raise smart, thoughtful little people to become smart, thoughtful adults someday. Good lord am I in awe of both of them, they are funny, kind and insightful. They are the best people I could ever imagine knowing, I’m a lucky mom.
So as much as I’ve shared with you…I’m asking you for a favor and I want you to share your wisdom with me. Dear readers, I’m looking for your story…give me those details!!! Janet