Entering The Tween Scene…Here We Go! A Mother’s Groundrules for Her Soon to Be Tween Son…Whether She’s Ready or Not!!

As always transparency comes in every conversation we have so I’m starting with dropping a bombshell- I’ve had writer’s block lately! Like a lot of it! It’s not so much that I can’t write, it’s that I don’t like what I wrote. If I’m not entertained by myself how can I expect you to be? So I stepped away and I lived life. I continue to live it. As I was living and loving life a conversation unfolded that changed the course of my block. I had to talk to you afterwards and here I am. Let’s chat…

In our little family the months of fall are also called “birthday season”. Both of our children were born in fall and we go from planning and celebrating one kid to starting the process over with the other kid. If you know me then you know that I like to theme a birthday. Well I’d theme a Wednesday if I could…let’s just say I embrace a theme like a dear friend. Each birthday my kids have celebrated have pretty much been themed. From dinosaur digs to Alice in Wonderland and from donuts to pirates…and many in between. This year, my friends, will be absolutely no exception. There’s a laser tag theme in my head and on my calendar.

The planning of this party has been fun and pretty easy-laser tag location, laser tag favors, laser tag cake…check, check, check. The realization that we’re entering double digits…I’ve not been able to check off my list. It was at bedtime a few nights ago that it happened. My son said “you know if a kid is between ages 10-12 you have to call them a tween, right?” He’s going to be a tween…a tween? He was only born what feels like a second ago. Not really but…The time flies so fast…the days are long and the years are short…remember everyone telling you that in the baby years? I’m getting it now, I drank the Kool Aid!

I’ve given it some thought..this whole new chapter thing. He has more times than not been ready for the next thing before I have. It’s that act of letting go I struggle with. When to do it and how much to let go at once, I struggle!! So I’ve decided on some ground rules since this thing is going to happen in a few days…there’s a few rules that I need to lay out as we start this journey.

Mom’s Rules for my Tween

Rule 1

I will accept you’re getting older but you must understand you’re still my baby.

When I look at you I will always see that baby in the delivery room that wrapped his hand around my finger. I will see that toddler wanting to be held. I will see that little boy holding my hand bravely entering kindergarten. My memories of you I hold as tightly as that hand once regularly held mine. You held on in all those ways and I will continue to see that when I look at you. From time to time I hope you’ll still continue to reach for my hand and please feel free to hold it as long as you like!

Rule 2

I forbid you to be embarrassed of me…like ever!!!

I know your friends, I make it a point to know your pals well. I volunteer in your classroom, I chaperone your field trips and I set up your sleepovers. I’ll be there but not embarrassingly so…so you CANNOT be embarrassed, got it? I’m a cool mom…repeat after me-My mom is cool!

Rule 3

Don’t change too much.

Son, you are one of the kindest, most generous souls and I hope that never changes. I want you to grow, I want you to have new experiences and meet new people. I truly do! I also want that beautiful heart to stay just as it is. I want you to be unapologetically a good dude. I want you to stay true to you and what your heart tells you is right. Be the kid that raises other’s spirits not the one that makes others feel self conscious. Be a light in this world!!

Rule 4

Keep talking to me!!

Our talks are a highlight in my day! I love it when you share what you’re thinking and what your day was like. I love knowing what you’re interested in, the lowdown on your classmates and which Pokemon you want to be. You make me laugh, you make me proud and I feel needed when you share.

Rule 5

We are both allowed to mess up.

You and I are both going to make mistakes and that’s ok! This is new territory for us. Let’s show each other grace and love and let’s especially show trust, both in ourselves and each other.

Rule 6

Your safety is always going to be my priority.

I’ll never drop you off down the street from school. I’ll keep an eye on your phone and what you’re doing online. I’ll never not check with other parents when you’re at a friend’s house. Keeping you safe is my job and I intend to watch over you to the best of my ability. Deal with it!

Rule 7

We’ve still gotta hang out.

Your social life has already surpassed mine and I’m cool with it. You have after school activities, hanging out with your friends, solo video gaming time etc…but make time for your mom! I want to laugh at movies with you, I want those adventures together, I want to share secret ice cream cones just us like we always have. Don’t shut that bedroom door and disappear!! We need to have fun together, for both our sakes!

Rule 8

Hugs…I want them.

They don’t have to happen in front of your friends but they do have to happen! You’ve already nixed hugs on the school grounds but at home they are a must! Enough said..I want them..period!!

Rule 9

Don’t worry too much!!

My sweet child you care and you worry like no other. While it’s good to be cautious and it’s good to plan I want you to have fun! You have your whole adult life to worry but be as carefree as is possible now. I WILL worry, your dad WILL worry…it comes with the territory. We are here to protect you and watch your back. We are looking out for your present and your future just as we looked out for you in the past. It is our honor, let us!

Rule 10

Own your accomplishments.

There’s a difference between bragging and owning. Be proud of yourself when you rock a test that you studied hard for. Be proud when a teacher says great job. Know your worth kid. Have confidence in your personality, your brain and your heart. Have confidence in your choices. You are a great boy and it’s ok to know that and pat yourself on the back from time to time.

So now that we’ve gotten the rules out the way for our new journey into the tween years let me say for the record-THANK YOU. Thank you for filling me with love, pride, joy and laughter. Thank for the pre tween memories I’ll hold forever. Thank you for giving me the gift that is getting to be your mom. It’s my pleasure. It has been since day 1. Since that first moment we met it was love at first sight.

I could not love you more but tomorrow I know I will love you even more than today. My love for you will grow more each day and I will welcome these tween years because it’s another adventure with you my amazing son! You blow my mind each day. You make me better. There is nothing I will ever accomplish that will compare to motherhood. Nothing!

I am your mom and whatever you do I’ll be there. I’ll be your loudest cheering section, your shoulder for support, your comic relief. I will fight for you when needed and stand back when that is needed too. I am here, there’s no where else I’d rather be. I can’t wait to see what you do next..the future is yours my boy! Tween scene here we come, and we are headed there together.

All my love,